love is a mixtape

this i firmly believe.

partly because i'm a sap, but also because there is nothing more wonderful, or more thoughtful than a well done mixtape. conversely, its pretty easy to make a lousy mixtape. just slap a bunch of shit on there, and throw it at a person.
which mix cds all seem to be these days, its just so easy to skip that track you hate but a mixtape, well, you're fucked. might as well throw that shit out or re-record over it.
its also super easy to make a tape that shows off your obscure music tastes (i am so fucking cool, FACE!) or just stuff you like and forget that ____(insert name here) hates that joy division song, but you love it, so you put in on there anyway.
maybe that's why a well made mix tape is so fucking magical, the time it took, the thought process and flow of the songs and why each was hand picked to be used on it.

i've also been reading "love is a mixtape" by rob sheffield and "cassette from my ex" edited by jason bitner, which is a collection of people talking about mixtapes, from, you guessed it, their ex. read "love is a a mixtape," its heartbreaking and funny and wonderful and one of those rare things that reminds you why you love music, and why you even bother with relationships.

so, without further rambling (okay, we both know thats a lie) here are some rough sketches of potential relationship ender tapes (let the tape do it for you!)
one being, the i fucking can't stand you tape (which why make the effort to make a tape? because you hate them that much?) and the i totally love you, but this shit just cant work and it sucks tape (cry on this instead of my shoulder)

the "its not you, well, actually, it is you" tape (aka, why we're breaking up)
limp-fiona apple
lover i don't have to love-bright eyes
unsatisfied-the replacements
fireman-jawbreaker (dreamed we were still going out/woke up to find we were not/its good to be awake)
i only love you slightly less than i used to-the smiths
after school special-a john henry memorial (what you say and what you do are two completely different things...)
what's a girl to do?-bat for lashes
heartless-kayne west
love connection-casiotone for the painfully alone, cover of parenthetical girls
take-wet and reckless
then end with fucking limp bizkits "nookie" the part about doing it all for the nookie on loop if you really really don't like them. or some song that they hate, because why waste more time than you already have on this person?

the "its not you, its everything else" tape (you sort out the order, i'm being lazy)
i am trying to break your heart-wilco
love will tear us apart-the swans, gira version, cover of joy division (can't get down on the jarboe version, lovely as it is)
reckoner-radiohead (although "true love waits" kills too, but this just gets me...)
i need love-ll cool j
the world has turned and left me here-weezer
she's got you-pasty cline
everlong-foo fighters
not too amused-sebadoh
i will never forget you-husker du
something in the way-nirvana, unplugged version (now twice as a sad sounding!)
nothing compares 2 u-sinead o connor
hallelujah-rufus wainwright, cover of leonard cohen
true love will find you in the end-daniel johnston (bittersweet! ahhh! this is where you cry your eyes out)


so then i started to listen to "the children" by yeasayer off odd blood and kinda am giving up on this for a bit. also forgot to eat, so there's that.

magic magical magic

meet me in saint louis, louis,

meet me at your crumbling mansion, half filled with what's left of a lifetime of memories. of autograph requests, ball invites, and newspaper clippings you must have either lovingly cut out yourself or one of your staff did for you. either way, you cared enough to keep it all, and it's rotting away in a trash bag, or where i left them strewn about that bizarre 70s style room.

its strange to walk through a home filled with memories of people that you've only seen on the screen or read about, and see that their shit is just as worthless in the long run. maybe thats why i hold on to things, that maybe the previous owner is still lingering and not quite forgotten in my appreciation of whatever object it is.

despite that, there are no words to describe how fucking happy i was to be there, to see it, and to be in such good company, documenting the whole thing.

can't help but wonder why your lovely home is left to rot and fall apart. and what had been painted on all those canvas' in the yard...

the proofs in the photos ....

night bus!

not the harry potter one, either.

dude spotted with fake leg that had broken off at the knee and he had replaced with pvc pipe and duct tape. he hobbled on board with his giant plastic stump, assisted by a crutch, reeking of Night Train and carrying a small purple bag covered in a kitty cat print, all while transit tv was playing jay-z 'empire state of mind'

damn los angeles. oh taking the bus and the shit you see.

go read 'rainbow stories' by william t vollmann and learn more about Night Train here

hugs!

stop me if you think you've heard this one before...

oh hey there, its been awhile, hasn't it?
how've you been? living well i hope.

oh yeah, things have been grrrrreat here. not drinking as much (last call?!), fitter (due to only being able to afford to eat out of a sack of rice for a while there) happier (a job i like! that doesn't give me zero dolla paychecks! go fuck yourself zara) more productive (cleaned up hollywood and now painting shit that isn't shit), still badly referencing music lyrics.

my walkman now has a friend in the form of a shiny new discman, so mix cds and, more preferably, mixtapes can be sent to me, at my new digs, not to that depressing falling apart apartment, where my landlady would break into to clean my floor that the sink threw up on to. oh god, that sentence will give you nightmares, apologies my friend.

yeah, so you know... more to come.

keep it real friend,

_______